According to a recent study, if you want your marriage to last a long time, you need more than love. Love is certainly important, but factors such as your age difference, income, smoking habits, and being opposites can eventually hurt your marriage.

From 2001 through 2007, Australian researchers Dr. Rebecca Kippen, Professor Bruce Chapman, and Dr. Peng Yu tracked 2,482 couples. The study, What's love got to do with it? Homogamy and dyadic approaches to understanding marital instability, examines the "factors which currently determine marital longevity."

"We find the following factors are associated with higher risk of marital separation: large age difference between husband and wife, wife has a much stronger preference than her husband for a(nother) child, young age at marriage, separation of husband's parents, resident children born before marriage, dissatisfaction with the relationship, low household income, husband is unemployed, wife drinks more than her husband, and one spouse smokes where the other does not ... Perhaps surprisingly, we find that the following differences in variables between marriage partners are not associated with separation: education, country of birth, and religiosity."

We are not surprised by the results of the study. Other research on marriage and divorce had similar findings although the Australian study didn't link religious differences to divorce.

So what are you to do if your marriage has several negative factors listed in the study? Two thoughts:

• First, don't panic and remember that your marriage is unique. Bob and I are about as opposite as we can be, have weathered some rough patches together, and we are approaching our 46th wedding anniversary. If you do sense that your marriage is in trouble, don't wait to get professional help.
• Second, make time for one another on a regular basis. We mean time to talk, time to have fun, time to connect with each other.

More Tips for a Long Lasting Marriage

The cover story of the July 13, 2009 Time magazine is "Unfaithfully Yours." With the premise that "Infidelity is eroding our most sacred institution," author Caitlin Flanagan considers in her essay, "How to make marriage matter again."

Asking if there is hope for the American marriage, Flanagan discusses the affairs of Governor Mark Sanford and Senator John Ensign in the first 1/4th of the article. The rest of the article is focused on describing the breakdown of the "intact, two-parent family," the effects of divorce on children, the Gosselins' failing marriage, and what America needs to do to make marriage "matter."

Flanagan's answer? "It is time instead to come to terms with both our unrealistic expectations for a happy marriage and our equally unrealistic beliefs about the consequences of walking away from the families we build. The fundamental question we must ask ourselves at the beginning of the century is this: What is the purpose of marriage? ... What we teach about the true meaning of marriage will determine a great deal about our fate."

In a related photo slideshow, photographer Lauren Fleishman looks at couples married for 50 years. Two quotes we liked:

Theauther Love: "Love is sharing with one another. Don't care what you have you share what you have. And be willing to give. Another thing I tell people now is that you have to be able to bend a little bit."

Cathy Pastorino: "With love you have to trust each other. You need good communication."

Read Flanagan's article and let us know your thoughts. We think the purpose of marriage is more than raising kids.

We like what Dennis Weaver wrote about marriage, "By the nature of marriage, because the husband and wife live in such proximity, it is by far life's most critical relationship, and the one that allows us the grandest opportunity to express the purpose of life, which is to love and to be loved."

Although the movie "Bachelor in Paradise" didn't receive great reviews back in 1961, watching it tonight was fun. The movie stars Bob Hope and Lana Turner and has music by Henry Mancini.

Set in the suburbs, the movie was a flashback for us to 1960s' decor, music, architecture, cars, and fashion along with society's expectations of marriage when we married. I can't say the movie has any great message about marriage. But it did make us laugh and that's a pretty good way to spend an evening together.

Some days have more "aha" moments than others. Today, while reading through articles I saved in the "read later" program by Instapaper, I had a flashback and an awareness.

Jay Dixit in Psychology Today, wrote that you can have a more satisfying marriage if you live in the moment.

Over thirty years ago, when our premature daughter Susan Sarah was dying, Bob and I made the decision to live in the moment and to appreciate the moments, the "now" we had with Susan. The awareness today was that we have done a pretty good job of continuing to live "now" and to not allow the past or the future to take today away from us.

How do you live in the moment? What tips can you share to help others live in the moment? Share Your Tips