We think it is important that you make time before the holidays to reevaluate your holiday traditions. Just because you always put twinkling lights outside doesn't mean you have to do it every year.

As your lives and circumstances change, your traditions and rituals need to be part of that changing process. We'll be having that talk ourselves in a few days.

Photo: Digital Vision / Getty Images

If you were/are the victim of infidelity, we have a favor to ask of you. No one will share the exact same feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, confusion, and fear that you experienced when you learned that your spouse cheated on you. However, telling your story of how you coped may help others deal with their own pain and sense of loss when faced with the trauma of unfaithfulness.

Whether your marriage survived or not, your road to healing can let others know there is hope for better tomorrows after the heartache of infidelity. Please share how you coped with infidelity in your marriage.

Being able to forgive keeps both your marriage and yourself healthy. Yet for many people, admitting to making mistakes and forgiving others is difficult.

One reason you may have difficulty forgiving is your pride or because you are still too angry. Or you don't want to be seen as weak. Perhaps you want your spouse to suffer. Additionally, forgiveness can be hard if you think that your mate is not having to pay any consequences for the hurtful behavior.

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Great news! Keith Bardwell resigned as a justice of the peace today! He didn't give a reason and honestly, we don't care why he resigned. We're just glad that he did resign.

Keith Bardwell's term as justice of the peace was set to run through 2014.

Bardwell: "I do hereby resign the office of Justice of the Peace for the Eighth Ward of Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana, effective November 3, 2009."
Source: Melinda Deslatte. "La. justice quits after interracial wed flap." SFGate.com. 11/03/2009.

In case you don't remember who he is, Bardwell made news in October 2009 when he refused to marry an interracial couple.

Looking for a magic formula for a perfect marriage?

According to a study published by the European Journal of Operational Research, after mathematicians from Bath University assessed "the age difference, cultural and educational background and divorce history of all the couples", they figured that guys could have a perfect marriage if they married a women who was smarter and at least five years younger.

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It may be hard to understand, but there are spouses who have mixed feelings when their mate loses weight. Subtle sabotage and attempts to undermine any weight loss success can happen.

An intimidated, jealous, or threatened spouse may have feelings of:

• Envy.
• Fear and jealousy.
• Anger.

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Speaking about their "public marriage, private smiles" relationship with Jodi Kantor for The New York Times, the first couple talked about date nights, difficult times, and reality checks.

In the "The First Marriage", the Obamas spoke about the impact of the presidency on their marriage. In the article, Kantor looked back at the early days of the Obama marriage, visited one of their first apartments, reflected on their marriage on the campaign trail, talked about life in the White House, and thought about the years ahead for Michelle and Barack Obama.

Some quotes from the article:

President Obama: "What I value most about my marriage is Read more...

If the Halloween costumes for couples already listed on our site aren't what you are looking for, perhaps some of these recent suggestions by our readers will work for you.

Maid for Money (sexy maid outfit with play money pinned to costume) and Money Man (money pinned to his clothing) ~~ Connie M.

Michelle and Barack Obama ~~ Sheila Y.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ~~ Jared B.

Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson ~~ Jerry E.

Amelia Earhart and George Putnam ~~ Nancy O.

Kanye West and Taylor Swift ~~ T.

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When we heard that North Carolina was changing the alienation of affection law, we thought this might be the beginning of rational thought in the few states that allow alienation of affection lawsuits.

But that is not the case. All the legislators changed in North Carolina was to make it a bit harder to sue a spouse's lover. As of October 1, 2009 if the extramarital affair started after a married couple is separated, the alienation of affection law cannot be used.

What's next? Considering a man cave as part of an alienation of affection lawsuit? Apparently, for some ... yes.

Commenting about Brad Pitt's man cave, John Harlow wrote: Read more...

One of the ways we spot devoted spouses is not only how they treat their partners but also how they look at their mates. You can often see patience, kindness, and love in their eyes and in their facial expression.

Robin Schoenthaler's article, "Will he hold your purse?" points out how to spot a devoted spouse.

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