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Why do people share a bed with a spouse if they would sleep better if they didn't? Usually the answer is because even if you don't get the best night's sleep, you find comfort and emotional intimacy in sleeping together.
An example of sleeping together compromises
How we compromise: Bob knows that if I absolutely can't handle how warm it is, I'll open a window in desperation. I don't do it too often, and he doesn't complain when I do.

Since he likes flannel sheets and I like satin sheets, we opted for jersey sheets.

We cuddle for a short time, then he knows he has to let go of me or I'll go bananas on him.

My side of the bed doesn't have tucked in sheets.

Our electric blanket has dual controls, and if he's really cold, he can warm up his side of the bed. My side of the blanket has never been turned on.

I love hearing the surf at night. When the surf is really loud, Bob will agree to turn off the humidifier and open a window so I can hear the surf.

He has learned how to get up and out of bed in the middle of the night without disturbing my sleep.

We have two alarms. One that would wake the dead that he likes, and my snooze control model. When his alarm starts to ring, he turns it off immediately.

If Bob rolls over on to my side of the bed, he doesn't get upset if I kick him or elbow him.
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Comments
February 22, 2014 at 6:41 am
(1) whataloadofcod says:

seems to me the only compromise here is the husband bending backwards for the wife! what a load of rubbish! sounds like the husband is a bit hen pecked!
i came here to find some way of compromise about our sleep habits and as usual, i leave googling another site to try and find help.
sleeping separately may have its advantages, but it sucks when one person in the relationship doesnt understand why the other chooses to sleep in another room, snoring, bedding, grinding teeth, room temperature and children give plenty of EXCUSES…but, not reasons!
sleeping separately was not something i wanted in my married life, i slept alone long enough, but, no matter what i want or need, it is irrelevant, this should be about what ‘we’ want as couples…not as single people!
although sleeping apart may give a good night sleep, 7 nights out of 7 is no compromise! it may as well be separate lives…
i crave to fall asleep with my husband and wake up with him.

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