Question: Who is to blame when a husband is unfaithful?

• The other woman
  
• The wife
  
• The husband

Answer: The husband!

I naively assumed that this was something that most people would agree on. I was wrong. Dr. Laura Schlessinger blames the wife when a husband cheats.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger: “When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings, sexually, personally, to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman making him feel what he needs ... The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving. But, yes, I hold women responsible for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need."
Source: Mike Celizic, "Dr. Laura: Women share blame for cheating men", TodayShow.com, 3/11/2008.

Thankfully, there were those on the same show who disagreed with Schlessinger:

Helen Fisher, anthropologist: “I refuse to believe that this adultery is the wife’s fault."

Dina Matos, author: "This is absurd. It’s just like blaming a rape victim. And we see this all too often. It’s just insanity.”

Jeff Gardere, psychologist: "But the person who cheats is doing it for a very selfish reason. It’s a very selfish act.”

More Comments on Dr. Laura's Comments

Dr. Joy Browne: “Oh cripe. It turns out that when there’s adultery, men blame women. And women blame women. It’s just unthinkable.”
Source: Charity Vogel, "Was Spitzer just stupid -- or worse?", BuffaloNews.com, 3/12/08.

Ken Schram: "Here's my bottom line: Elliot Spitzer has no one to blame but himself. I don't care if his mommy and his wife did, or didn't, love him. He should have kept his pants zipped up. And Dr. Laura should do the same with her mouth."
Source: "Shut up, Dr. Laura", Schram on the Street, 3/13/08.

Ellen Goodman: "Of course this anthrobabble was not as bad as what came from Laura Schlessinger, the guiltmeistress of talk radio, who located the cause of infidelity entirely outside of the male body and onto the wife."
Source: "Standing behind the wronged wives", Boston.com, 3/13/08.

Shari Kane: "Excuse me? This drivel, coming from anyone, let alone a member of my own sex, sent me over the edge. Men cheat and women should accept the blame? What century are we in, anyway? ... Bottom line is....real men don't cheat. Real men either deal with the problem or cut their losses and get the heck out of Dodge."
Source: "Women at Fault for Men's Infidelity?", BaxterBulletin.com, 3/11/08.

Diane Sollee: "I guess the thought is she didn't bake enough pies or perform well enough in bed?? Or, maybe it's because she only gave the Gov three daughters, no sons? Puleeze! As Frank Pittman points out the performance or non-performance of the wife doesn't predict squat when it comes to infidelity. Pittman says to look, instead, at what a man was taught by his father and uncles (his tribe) about what it means to be a successful man. Is a successful man the one with the most stuff including a wife, kids and as many mistresses as he can afford and get away with? Or, is a real man one who is committed to his marriage, his family, his vows?"
Source: "Blame it on the Wife?", SmartMarriages.com, 3/13/08

Related:
     Why Spouses Cheat
     Warning Signs of Cheating Spouses
     Excuses for Cheating
     How to Cope When You've Learned Your Spouse is Unfaithful
     Why Political Wives Stand By Their Men