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Sheri & Bob Stritof

Are We Still a Throw-Away Society with Throw-Away Marriages?

By June 11, 2008

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While I was researching the successful marriage of Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward, I came across an intriguing article in the New York Times I think is worth reading. It was written in 1990 by a woman who had been married for 40 years, Mary H. Whalen.

Please note: We do believe that there are marriages that should end -- marriages where there is serial cheating, lying, betrayal, or emotional and/or physical abuse.

Quoting Paul Newman: "We're a throw-away society, aren't we? We throw away everything. We never even try to fix things - we throw them away, we destroy things - appliances that break, old buildings because they're old, we throw away relationships that aren't exactly what we thought they'd be, we throw away wives, husbands, marriages."

Mary about Newman: "And he was not easy on himself. He admitted to an earlier, failed marriage, to the usual temptations and near crises that have occurred within his present marriage. But his basic premise was that we must stop throwing things away at the first hint of problems. We must honor the commitments, make an attempt to solve the problem, work at the marriage."

Mary: "We were in harm's way when we let the children have all of our attention and left none for each other. We were in harm's way when we allowed our friends and family to pull our loyalties apart. We were in harm's way when our relationship was not examined occasionally and shored up and recommitted. We were in harm's way when we did not speak of love enough and remember it ... This is about marriages worked at, regularly examined and cherished and cared for. In this throw-away society of ours, most of us in long marriages have probably kept our vows; perhaps, in moments of weakness or human fraility, broken some; but we've remembered them all. We didn't throw them or each other or the marriage away."

Full Article:
     Hanging On to Marriage: Tough Task in a Throwaway World

     Tips for a Long Lasting Marriage
     Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward Marriage Profile
     Marriage Secrets of Famous Couples

June 13, 2008 at 5:43 pm
(1) Steve says:

Don’t throw away marriages; instead try to mend your relationship even in drastic conditions. Because Marriage is the most important part in your life

November 19, 2011 at 10:35 am
(2) Victoria says:

I was researching throw-away society and came across the same article and I thought her views were wonderful and I hope to have a long lasting marriage. When I say “long”, I’m talking til death do us part at age 90+.

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