This Week's Unfaithful Politician -- Just a "Sparking Thing"
Yes. emotional affairs are often gateway affairs that lead to sexual infidelity. But give me a break. In his press conference, Mark Sanford rambled on about needing time away and the Appalachian Trail, then this guy used words like "innocently" and "casual" to rationalize his affair. No rationalization Governor. The bottom line is this: You didn't fall into this affair. You chose to be unfaithful.
I like what Dahlia Lithwick and Hanna Rosin wrote about Sanford's comments.
Dahlia: "To hear Mark Sanford tell it, one day you’re home digging holes in the yard, the next you’re talking to some woman “about how she should get back with her husband for her two boys,” and then you’re swapping emails with her, and then, well ... 'that whole sparking thing.' This was truly one of the weirdest orations ever delivered ..."Hanna: "Sanford went on and on, taking questions, delivering long sonnets to the forbidden love between him and Miss Argentina. He spent the last few days with her holed up and “crying,”—a detail I’m sure his “absolute jewel” of a wife would love to know. He decided that yes, there was something “real” there ”from a heart level” ..."
Although Jenny Sanford asked her husband to leave two weeks ago, she is open to reconciliation. Would you give your husband a second chance if during a trial separation he left the country to spend time with his mistress?
I would love to say I would not. But being honest too many things must go through your head at that moment. Hurt, Anger yes. But Sadness, heartache, moral and familial obligations. And finally a desire to have what you had back. irrational or not. So I probably at the end would do the same thing.
It would be a tough call for sure. I basically believe that if a man does not have the intregrity to stay out of an affair the first time, he will do it again. I guess there is always this hope in all of us that things will change….but men keep telling us women that we cannot change them. I think if I was faced with taking back my husband if he had an affair, it would only be with the grace of God that I could do it. The human side of me would ALWAYS doubt him and that would not be worth the pain for myself. Bottom line is I would have to pray about it and let God lead me.
If we had agreed in a trial separation because we both needed time alone to collect our thoughts, search our hearts and weigh things out, and instead he lied about where he would be, flew to another continent and spent time with his mistress then I’d consider that my answer—that he doesn’t respect or honor me or our marriage. So, no, I wouldn’t take him back.
It would depend on how remorseful he seemed and if I thought there was a chance it could happen again. I think everyone deserves forgiveness for one huge blunder. The problem I have with Mark Sanford is that he talked about his affair in a way that seemed like a teenager confessing a forbidden love to his friends rather than a husband who disgraced himself and his family. He seemed almost giddy, vomiting out details we didn’t need to know. I have no doubt that he fancies himself “in love” and can’t wait to see her again. How extremely typical and unimaginative.
S&B: Yes, “that sparking thing” – truly irritating. And nauseating. He has ruined his family and career for a “sparking thing?” This one statement, far as I’m concerned, renders Mark Sanford without the maturity and judgement to be a state leader. Most amusing (?) of all is he seems to want our sympathy for him because he’s a “love slave.” In fact, he’s a slave to his genitals. I’d guess he overdosed on Viagra. I am irritated, nauseated and horrified at how he villified (if that’s a word) for casting judgement on Bill Clinton. At least Clinton didn’t “outsource.”
Diane Gordon
P.S. Btw, I’ve been married 32 years. Our “technique” is the simplest yet. Just repeat the mantra, “We’re married, #oddammit!” It’s really not that difficult, once one realizes that thinking “the grass is greener” is part of the human condition. Only spiritual development makes us appreciate this. Real love is based on a life together, not “trouser worms.”
P.S.Oops, I forgot your question. Should Jenny reconcile? Only she can say if she can get past the humiliation and hurt. Love is forgiving, yet I truly wonder is her husband loves her. To go on CNN to state he’s “going to try to fall in love again” with her is more than I could stomach. As well, who would want to be married to a person who called another woman his “soul mate”? I couldn’t and wouldn’t. All the while Mark Sanford doesn’t realize what a fool he’s made of himself, his wife, and the wonderful people of South Carolina.