The Presidency and Marriage

Speaking about their "public marriage, private smiles" relationship with Jodi Kantor for The New York Times, the first couple talked about date nights, difficult times, and reality checks.

In the "The First Marriage", the Obamas spoke about the impact of the presidency on their marriage. In the article, Kantor looked back at the early days of the Obama marriage, visited one of their first apartments, reflected on their marriage on the campaign trail, talked about life in the White House, and thought about the years ahead for Michelle and Barack Obama.

Some quotes from the article:

President Obama: "What I value most about my marriage is that it is separate and apart from a lot of the silliness of Washington, and Michelle is not part of that silliness."

Jodi Kantor: "Since he first began running for office in 1995, Barack and Michelle Obama have never really stopped struggling over how to combine politics and marriage: how to navigate the long absences, lack of privacy, ossified gender roles and generally stultifying rules that result when public opinion comes to bear on private relationships."

Michelle: "This is the first time in a long time in our marriage that we've lived seven days a week in the same household with the same schedule, with the same set of rituals," Michelle Obama pointed out. (Until last November they had not shared a full-time roof since 1996, two years before Malia was born.) "That's been more of a relief for me than I would have ever imagined."

Jodi Kantor: "Friends who visit the White House describe occasionally turning corners to find the first couple mid-embrace. They also seem unusually willing, for a presidential couple, to kiss, touch and flirt in public. It may be that they are broadcasting their affection to the rest of us, an advertisement of their closeness. Or they may simply be holding tightly to each other as they navigate new and uncertain terrain. "Part of what they provide each other with is emotional safety," Jarrett explained."

Michelle: "The strengths and challenges of our marriage don't change because we move to a different address ... The equality of any partnership is measured over the scope of the marriage. It's not just four years or eight years or two. We're going to be married for a very long time."

Jodi Kantor's "The First Marriage" is worth reading.