Why is Forgiving So Difficult?

Being able to forgive keeps both your marriage and yourself healthy. Yet for many people, admitting to making mistakes and forgiving others is difficult.

One reason you may have difficulty forgiving is your pride or because you are still too angry. Or you don't want to be seen as weak. Perhaps you want your spouse to suffer. Additionally, forgiveness can be hard if you think that your mate is not having to pay any consequences for the hurtful behavior.

"Accepting that what happened to you really did happen is the first step. But it is the hardest step of all."
Source: Kathleen Griffin. The Forgiveness Formula: How to Let Go of Your Pain and Move On with Life. 2004. pg. 5.

Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to forget what your spouse did that hurt you. It doesn't mean that you have to trust your spouse or reconcile. Forgiveness doesn't mean that your partner won't have some consequences to pay for the pain caused. Forgiveness doesn't let others off the hook. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness.

Nancy Schimelpfening, About.com's Guide to Depression, has a definition of forgiveness that is quite doable and an excellent exercise to help you let go of pain.