Dan Couvrette, publisher and CEO of Divorce Magazine wrote, "A holiday like Valentine's Day underscores what's missing in these [troubled] marriages. It's not surprising that February 15 is one of the busiest days in a divorce lawyer's calendar."
Divorce attorneys agree that couples in troubled marriages need to identify the symptoms of divorce and seek help immediately.
Here are a few lawyers' tips from Wendy Jaffe’s book, The Divorce Lawyers’ Guide to Staying Married (Review):
- Mary McCurley, Dallas, TX: "Couples need to sit down with each other, a counselor, or a religious advisor and outline their general thoughts and feelings about whether to have children and how they will be raised with the caveat that things and feelings could change. They need to discuss seemingly simple things like are you going to be mad if I have one night a week with my girlfriends, or if I have a monthly hunting weekend with the guys. It sounds trivial, but these are the kind of things that really cause problems in marriage ..."
- Patricia Ferrari, New York, NY: "In the marriages that make it, people don’t say, "That isn't what I bargained for when I got married." When there is a change in the marriage, for example where the wife goes back to school, or the husband changes careers, the most important thing a spouse can do is be adaptable and support changes in the other spouse."
- Bernard Rinella, Chicago, IL: "Be open and honest. If you are unhappy, let your spouse know it. Remember that a good argument is better than no argument at all. If people were open and honest with their spouses, fifty percent of divorces could be avoided."
- Don Schiller, Chicago, IL: "Give in early and often. If both parties keep giving in they will have a great relationship. Remember that if you leave this mate to find another mate, you still end up with another person who you will also have to compromise with."
Intercultural couples share certain joys and benefits that same-culture couples don’t share. However, intercultural couples face their own obstacles due to differences in culture, worldviews, beliefs, values, food, attitudes toward intimacy and parenting, and more.
I would never marry a man who wanted “a monthly hunting weekend with the guys.” Blood sports are disgusting, brutal, and immoral. No wonder Cheney engages in them.
People don’t seem to understand the importance of the commitment.