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Sheri Stritof

The Big Red Flag of Apathy in Marriage

By November 18, 2013

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When your spouse asks your opinion about what to have for dinner, or where to go out to eat, or which movie to see, or where you would like to go on vacation, do you respond with "I don't care" and then mumble and grumble and make negative statements about the decision your spouse made?

Whenever you or your spouse says "I don't care", it could be a sign of apathy or uncaring in your marriage. It's also another cop out in taking responsibility or making decisions.

November 29, 2010 at 1:11 pm
(1) Mary says:

I can always be counted on for an opinion on where to eat! or vacation!

November 30, 2010 at 2:21 am
(2) DesTynNee says:

I know that for me, I have to make way more decisions in my daily life than my husband does, when I tell him that I do not care, or for him to pick.. It is me trying to let go of that control and allow another to do it, and let myself relax.

December 11, 2010 at 10:11 pm
(3) alexandria says:

This is a new experience for me . i have never blogged or left a commit. There is a first time for everything . saying nothing at all is equivalent to saying ” I dont care. Would you agree? For example I sent this text to my husband, and yes he read it. short version–”Actions always trump words as well as back them up. And if u think doing/saying/asking nothing solves /resolves or entices a broken heart or capture a broken heart ur mistaken. i know u dont realize the extent of the hurt ur actions has caused . But im tired of u pretending all is normal. This must be what a slow toturious death feels like. ” his response when II asked him if he read the text was yes and thats all. we have been married for 21 years and I dont this man any more all I see is a cold ,callous person . Yes this stem from discovered pornography (3mos ago) and yes it feels no different then if he had a physical affair in my heart and mind.

November 15, 2012 at 10:07 am
(4) Dan says:

I think it is more about the level of care in the relationship as to whether or not this can be an issue / problem. Sometimes it is nice to say with a generous open heart, it is up to you… This can be done in the spirit of giving a gift.
This needs to not be a blow off or passing the buck or any other expression of apathy, which has an undermining effect on the relationship. I think we are either building or destroying the relationship in our responses to our significant other. We need to make clear and intentional choices that have a good effect on the relational connection.

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