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Sheri & Bob Stritof

Do You Have a Hurried Marriage?

By December 9, 2013

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When our children were younger, we read David Elkind's The Hurried Child (compare prices) and became concerned our kids didn't have enough free time to be able to dream, to play, to look at clouds, to gaze at stars, and to generally enjoy quiet time in their lives.

Then we wondered the same thing about our own marriage. Did we have a hurried marriage without time to dream dreams together, to go on dates with one another, to look at clouds together, to gaze at stars together, to enjoy a full moon with one another, and to generally enjoy quiet time with each other?

As a result, we limited our children's after-school activities and reevaluated our own involvement in church and community organizations.

It is affirming to see that our concerns then are still valid today.

"According to the AAP, “Whereas play protects children's emotional development, a loss of free time in combination with a hurried lifestyle can be a source of stress, anxiety and may even contribute to depression for many children.

“The report reaffirms that the most valuable and useful character traits that will prepare children for success come not from extracurricular or academic commitments, but from a firm grounding in parental love, role modeling and guidance.”
Source: Elizabeth Scott, M.S. "Play Time for Healthy Child Development."

Volunteerism can hurt your marriage. If you and your spouse are finding yourselves with no time for your relationship or your kids, perhaps you are having a problem saying NO. Decide if you are spending too much time as volunteers and read our tips for saying NO.

     Do you think volunteerism is hurting your marriage? Vote!
     Do you have a time starved marriage? Vote!

January 9, 2008 at 6:01 pm
(1) Curtis says:

Thank you for posting this. I just got married in September and already feel that we spend too much time doing everything but spend time with each other. It’s nice to have a little reminder that taking a break is a good thing!

January 17, 2010 at 12:58 am
(2) Will says:

Not taking time for your marriage is a major factor in problem marriages. Marriage, like all parts of your life needs time and care to keep it alive and well. If you have too many irons in the fire it is time for a family meeting in which priorities need to be set. Marriage and family need to be at the very top of the priority list

December 30, 2011 at 1:23 pm
(3) Alex says:

No. We treat the marriage and each other as our first priority.

It should be noted that this is only possible when it’s a first priority to BOTH parties. If one is working as though the marriage is a priority and the other is off in busyland, it’s not going to work well.

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