By sharing what is in your heart with your spouse, you can achieve deeper intimacy. Here is a simple how to on how to share your feelings.
- Recognize the difference between thoughts and emotional (not physical) feelings.
- Use the 'I think vs. I feel' rule. If you can substitute the words 'I think' for 'I feel' in a sentence, then you have expressed a thought and not a feeling.
- Name the feeling. Use a list of feeling words if this is difficult.
- Describe the feeling by writing it in such a way that your spouse can experience your feeling to the same degree.
- Share your feeling with your spouse.
- Accept that feelings are neither right nor wrong. It's the behavior that results because of the feeling that has the morality.
- Accept that feelings come and go and change quickly.
- Try to not judge yourself or your spouse because of feelings.
- Rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it. Don't say things like 'Don't worry, be happy' or 'You shouldn't feel that way.'
- Don't make decisions based on feelings.
- Share your feelings with each other daily.
What You Need
- Willingness to Make Time for Each Other