Describing feelings is a communication technique that married couples have been using for years during their daily dialogue time.
Some marriage experts, including Gary Smalley, describe this communication tool as creating emotional word pictures.
Describing Emotional Word Pictures
When you are trying to describe a feeling to your spouse, use as many descriptive words as you can. Paint a picture with words so that your spouse can more readily understand and experience your feeling.Try to mentally put yourself in an activity or place with this feeling.
Phrases to Use When Desribing a Scene
- With this feeling I see myself as ... and describe the setting.
- Use colors.
- Use texture.
- Use past memories or events or you can create a story to describe your feeling.
- Use food.
- Use nature such as storms, lakes, sunshine, ocean waves, animals, etc.)
- Use hobbies or other interests your spouse may have.
More Examples:
- Spring in the step.
- Meditating by a quiet pond.
- Dancing for joy.
- Snuggling in a blanket.
- Sitting before a warm fire.
- Enjoying a cup of hot chocolate.
- Trapped, boxed in, caged.
- Soft as a comforter.
- Today, as I was thinking about us, I had a calm feeling. It is the way I used to feel when I would check on the kids when they were sleeping and everything was ok.
It's a quiet feeling and makes me think of a long summer afternoon, a blanket under a tree, a good book and a glass of cold lemonade. There is peace and tranquility with this feeling, too.
Remember that this is a communication tool. As with any tool, it can be difficult when you first use it. However, the more you try it, the more comfortable you will become using it.
