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How To Know if Your Spouse Is Having a Cyber Affair


Are you concerned and suspicious that your spouse is having a cyber affair? If your spouse's behavior has changed in these ways, then there could be a problem with cyber sex.

Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: Varies

Here's How:

  1. Your spouse shows a lack of concern about your marriage relationship.

  2. Your spouse is not interested in doing things with you or in celebrating birthdays or holidays.

  3. You notice that there has been a major change in your spouse's sleep pattern by his/her staying up later or getting up earlier than normal.

  4. When you and your spouse are sexually intimate with one another, your mate shows very little enthusiasm having sex with you.

  5. Your spouse has lots of excuses, rationalizations, and expresses denial for obvious changes in his/her behavior.

  6. When confronted about being distant, lack of sex, too much time on the computer, and other concerns, your spouse blames you.

  7. Your spouse seems different and more moody.

  8. You easily catch your spouse telling lies.

  9. Your spouse starts to ignore his/her parental, household, or job related responsibilities.

  10. You notice that your spouse has changed the passwords on the computer.

  11. Your spouse moves the computer to a more isolated location in your home.

  12. Your spouse demands privacy and is defensive about time spent on the computer.

  13. The amount of time that your spouse spends on the computer is greatly increased.

  14. Your spouse doesn't want to talk about his/her computer usage.


  1. Cyber affairs can be a symptom of other problems in your marriage.

  2. Lack of communication, financial problems, relocation, and sexual dissatisfaction can be triggers to this behavior.

  3. Ask your spouse for honest communication to resolve the hurt and to rebuild trust.

  4. Don't let your spouse's attachment to pornography or cyber sex negatively impact your own self-image.

  5. Don't accept any blame or guilt for your spouse's decision to have a cyber affair.

What You Need

  • Willingness to confront your spouse.
  • Ability to fight fair.
  • Belief in yourself.
  • Time to heal.

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