Children's Health Concerns
Although sharing the family bed is normal in many parts of the world, more pediatricians are recommending that babies sleep in their own beds.The decision to allow children to sleep in their parents' bed is a controversial one with many medical experts saying the practice is a dangerous one and emotionally unhealthy for the children.
The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission even released a warning about the practice.
American Academy of Pediatrics Guidelines for Co-sleeping
The American Academy of Pediatrics is currently recommending that infants be offered pacifiers and that they should not sleep on their sides.
- Bedding that is soft and fluffy (quilts, comforters, pillows) or cuddly stuffed animals should not be placed under or around a baby.
- Infants should sleep in their own beds.
- Infants should be placed on their back to sleep.
- Infants should not be placed on their sides or tummies to sleep.
- Parents should refrain from smoking, or using alcohol or drugs.
Can Having a Family Bed Hurt Your Marriage?
Aside from the concerns about the health of children, what are the pros and cons of the family bed for parents? Can having a family bed hurt a marriage?The biggest concern seems to be a fear of losing intimacy, and of not being able to have sex whenever a couple wants. Some couples do find that their sexual intimacy is lessened. Others find sharing a bed with their kids just makes them more creative in finding other places in the home to have sex like the sofa, guest bedroom, futon on the floor, shower, hot tub, carpet, etc. These couples say that this adds spontaneity and spice to their lovemaking.
If your own space and privacy and the need for a good night's sleep is important to either one of you, or if the two of you can't agree on this issue, then having the kids in their own beds is probably best for your relationship.
Co-sleeping doesn't necessarily mean a king sized bed with everyone in it, though. Some families have the crib or an additional mattress or futon next to their bed. Open-door policies where children have their own bedrooms, but are allowed free access to their parents' bed is another option for families.
