The Bottom Line
The Sex-Starved Marriage: Boosting Your Marriage Libido, a Couple's Guide
by Michele Weiner-Davis
Publisher: Simon & Schuster, 2003.
Written in three sections, for folks with low desire, for folks with high desire, and for couples to work at together, the author encourages couples to begin mutual care-taking. Recommended.
- Straight forward, honest advice
- May frustrate a spouse with an uncooperative mate
- "It is estimated that 1 out of 3 couples struggle with problems associated with low sexual desire."
- "One study found that 20% of married couples have sex less than 10 times a year!"
- "Complaints about low desire are the #1 problem brought to sex therapists."
- Don't bury your head in the sand. Ignoring the problem isn't healthy. You need to get help.
- Talk about what you need.
- Don't keep score. Stop the blame game. It's a couple problem that requires change from both of you.
- Don't wait to feel lusty.
- Men's testosterone, a primary hormone responsible for sexual desire, peaks at 7 to 8 in the morning.
- Hi octane partners, share feelings and focus on what turns your spouse on, not just your desires.
- Low libido partners, just do it. Frequent sex may help jumpstart your sexual desire.
Guide Review - Sex Starved Marriage: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Marriage Libido
Michele Weiner-Davis has a message for couples who are having problems in their sexual relationship. Just do it. Have more sex. She says if you aren't feeling sexy to do it anyway. She writes about "DINS" couples - double income, no sex - and the desire gap in many marriages. She apparently doesn't think it matters why someone feels the way they do about sex. What matters is for a spouse to take responsibility for meeting their mate's sexual needs. Weiner-Davis stated in an interview with the Sun-Times that sexual desire is lacking in at least 50% of the population. Having sex is something couples have to schedule or plan for by flirting more, initating sex more, and paying more attention to one another.