The National Center of Health Statistics reports that during 1981 to 1991, there was a 16 percent increase in the divorce rate among couples who have been married 30 or more years. Marriage after retirement can be a difficult time for many couples.
As your nest starts to empty out or refill, you will find yourselves realizing that your roles are changing as you approach retirement. New challenges, new irritations, new frustrations, and new discoveries await your retirement years.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: As long as it takes
Here's How:
- Slow down. Don't rush into volunteering for lots of community or church related projects. Enjoy a slower pace of life and enjoy being retired for awhile. Relax!
- Don't rush into lots of changes like emptying out a kid's room, or signing up to take a class, or planning a long trip.
- Talk about your achievements and the new challenges you are facing in retirement. Share your expectations of this phase of life with one another.
- Make some short term and long term plans on how you will spend your money and time. Prioritize the areas, such as your home, travel, career, education, volunteer efforts, retirement, family, friends, recreation, and pets.
- Enjoy this time together, and find ways to have fun together. It can be as simple as playing a game of cards or taking a walk together.
- Relish the quiet moments.
- Let go of your adult children. Treat them as adults. Respect them by not trying to control or manipulate their lives.
- Discuss your expectations of your relationships with your adult children and grandchildren.
- Enrich your friendship with one another by making time to just be together.
- Plan for your retirement years both financially and practically. Discuss when you each want to retire, whether or not either of you will work while retired, and the type of retirement lifestyle you want to live.
- Don't overlook your sexual relationship. Work on being more intimate and sensual with one another by going out on dates and flirting with one another again.
Tips:
- Consider time away to reaffirm your commitment to one another. This isn't a travel trip, but just several days in a quiet setting to truly communicate with one another how you want to spend the rest of your lives.
- It isn't easy to let go of a child. It isn't easy to relate to your children as adults. However, isn't this the goal of parenthood?
To give them roots and to give them wings and to watch them fly away is to be a successful parent.
- The major issues midlife couples face are conflict, communication, sex, finances, children, health, having fun, retirement, and aging parents.
What You Need
- Sense of Humor
- Flexibility
- Communication Skills
- Planning
