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Separation During Deployments

Staying in Touch During Combat Deployments


Combat situation deployment can create an anxiety and fear that is far different from when a loved one is on a routine deployment. Spouses and families may find themselves feeling on edge.

Some realities of combat situation deployment include less communication with your spouse, lack of information about duties and location, more media coverage regarding bombings and casualties, and increased fears about safety issues and dealing with the unknown.

Staying in touch by writing to one another every day is one way to ease the trauma of separation. Here are some writing tips and suggestions on what to write.

  • It is very important that you put your thoughts and feelings down on paper on a daily basis. Don't wait until it's convenient for you or when you have the opportunity. You have to make time to do this. It will only take 5 or 10 minutes out of your day. This opportunity to touch base with one another daily is critical to keeping the two of you feeling intimate and close to one another.

  • Spending this time documenting your days is giving a picture of yourself to your beloved. It says your spouse is important to you. This writing time also brings your mate to the forefront of your mind, heart and life.

  • Don't rely on email for your communication. Handwritten letters are more intimate. Another advantage of a handwritten note is that it can be tucked into a pocket and reread over and over again. Printing emails may not always be an option for your spouse.

  • Don't be afraid to reveal who you are and share what you are dealing with emotionally. This helps keep the intimacy alive between you and your spouse.

  • Don't hide difficult situations or problems from your mate. Although it may seem like protecting one another is a good thing, it really isn't. Let your spouse know if there are problems with the kids or your car, or if you are frustrated with dealing with issues as a solo parent. Just make sure that you let your partner know that you are handling the difficult issues. Reinforce that your spouse isn't to blame. There's no need to pile guilt on an absent spouse for the mischevious gremlins that will invade your life once you are alone.

    Remember that it is healthy to share. It helps to put things into perspective, both for yourself and for your spouse. Dealing with unknowns creates more fear and anxiety.

    Page 2, Coping Tips
    Page 3, Being Prepared
    Page 4, Care Package Suggestions

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