From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
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I just finished reading Wanting a Child, a collection of essays and short stories by twenty-two writers about their difficulties in achieving parenthood. It touched my heart.

I found myself misty-eyed as I read these very honest and powerful experiences. Having coped with difficult pregnancies, the loss of three infants, and the joy of raising four children, I knew that these were stories from the authors' hearts.

Some of the stories end happily, some have tremendous moments of hope and joy, and others share feelings of disappointment, pain, sorrow, despair, failure, and hostility. They all show the fragility of life and the deep need in many of us to be parents.

This anthology is a must read for all who want to be parents and for all who are parents. It is also for the friends and families of couples who are dealing with this issue in their marriage. Perhaps, after reading these accounts, they will have a better idea of what to say and what not to say.

There are two painful realities for those coping with infertility or the loss of a child: (1) the lack of understanding and sensitivity from families and friends and (2) experiencing a monumental stress on their marriage.

Any couple who is dealing with the heartbreak of infertility, miscarriage, neo-natal death, surrogacy, adoption, or trying to accept life without children is also coping with new stresses in their relationship.

Infertility and the quest for parenthood can take over a couple's life. It is so important for a couple to have good communication, to recognize the gender differences in dealing with this issue, and to make time together so they are reminded of things they do have to be happy about.

When there has been a loss of a pregnancy, or of a child, or of the dream of being a parent, grief will set in. Each man and each woman will grieve differently, but, as a couple, they must grieve. It's crucial for the marriage relationship that they both deal with their grief. They can't let it go until that happens. If they can't let it go, then the loss will have a very negative affect on their marriage.

MORE RESOURCES
Infertility
Infertility
Men and Infertility

Miscarriage
Miscarriage
One Miscarriage, One Man, One Woman
Voices of Miscarriage

Neo-natal death
Hygeia
Mommies Enduring Neo-Natal Death

Surrogacy
The Great Journey
A Somewhat Different Path to Parenthood

Adoption
Adoption
Adoption: A Parallel Process of Healing
Authentic Beginnings, Real Bonds

Related Links
Psychological Support: Talking to Your Spouse
Unspeakable Losses[ Childfree by Choice

Financing Parenthood
Financing Pregnancy
Living on One Income in a Two Income Economy