From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
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Although many women complain about their husbands not helping around the house, they may be actually inhibiting their spouse's involvement in housework and child-care by subtle sabotage.

• In dual-income families, many women are still doing most of the housework and child-care.

• Men do about the same amount of work around the house whether or not their wives worked outside the home or were full-time homemakers.

• Generally, the amount of housework that men do has remained unchanged over the last 20 years. One study does show though that men are spending more time with their children than their own fathers and grandfathers did.

• Men have a tendency to overestimate how much they do around the house, and underestimate how much other family members accomplish around the house.

• It is estimated that a married woman spends 14 hours more time on housework each week than a single woman will spend.

• Women often feel a lack of respect and caring when their husbands don't do their share of work around the home.

• Researchers believe that families where there is an equitable division of labor not only reduces a woman's distress, but it helps create a happier household and a more intimate marriage relationship.

• Dr. John Gottman, of the University of Washington in Seattle, has stated that men who are willing to share in housework responsibility have more active sex lives with their wives.

• It is also believed that children benefit from seeing their dads do housework. Scott Coltrane, a sociologist from the University of California, believes that children who help their dads do household chores are more likely to be well adjusted and more socially aware of democratic family values and co-operation.

Maternal Gatekeepers Studies

A study done in 1999 by the Brigham Young University Family Studies Center researched the concept of maternal gatekeeping. Conducted by Sarah M. Allen and Alan J. Hawkins, the research revealed that 20 to 25 percent of married women fall into the category of maternal gatekeeping.

Another study on the topic of household chores was done in 1999 by Chloe Bird, a Brown University sociologist. Her research revealed that when women do most of the housework, they may feel anxious, demoralized, depressed, and worried.

• Women may be inhibiting their husbands from completing their share of household chores. This is referred to as "maternal gatekeeping."

• Maternal gatekeeping occurs when women place obstacles in the way of their spouses attempts to be involved with chores and their children.

• Maternal gatekeepers' self-identity is often based on how others view their homemaking and nurturing skills. As a result, they may see their value diminished by a husband who takes on some of the housekeeping and child-care roles.

• Women who are maternal gatekeepers have mixed feelings of both cherishing their role as the primary care-giver, and resenting it. They may feel relieved when their husbands take a more responsibility around the house, and yet feel displaced at the same time. Feelings of both guilt and liberation may also surface when a husband takes his paternal role more seriously.

Questions for Wives - page 2
Questions for Husbands - page 3
Giving Up Control - page 4
Gatekeeping Study Press Release - page 5