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Mama Lion at the Gate

Giving Up Power, Possessiveness, and Control

From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
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Maternal Gatekeepers -- How to Let Go

Maternal gatekeeping is not malicious behavior. It stems from the belief that women are more suited to caring for children, and that they are also better nurturers. If you believe you are a maternal gatekeeper, here are some suggestions for letting go:

  • Quit hogging the baby and children.

  • Don't expect your husband to do things exactly as you would do them.

  • Accept that there are more ways than your way to accomplish a task.

  • Lower your standards of housekeeping if they are unrealistic.

  • Don't criticize what your husband accomplished.

  • Never redo a task that he did.

  • Don't ask your husband for help. Ask him to take on his share of the responsibility for running your family's home.

  • Realize that you don't have to do all the organizing, delegating, planning, and scheduling in your home.

  • If you find yourself feeling threatened by your husband's efficiency, or the way he cares for your kids, ask yourself why you are having this feeling.

  • If a baby or child is crying, don't immediately step in and take the child away from your husband.

  • Accept Gloria Steinem's statement, "we need to know not only what women can do what men can do but also that men can do what women can do."

Maternal Gatekeeping - page 1
Questions for Wives - page 2
Questions for Husbands - page 3
Gatekeeping Study Press Release - page 5

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