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How to Stop Being a Maternal Gatekeeper

Maternal Gatekeepers -- How to Let Go of Control and Possessiveness

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Photo: John Foxx / Getty Images
Photo: John Foxx / Getty Images
Maternal Gatekeepers
Questions for Wives
Questions and Solutions for Husbands
Gatekeeping Study Press Release

Maternal gatekeeping is not malicious behavior. It stems from a belief that women are more suited to caring for children and that women are better nurturers.

If you believe you are a maternal gatekeeper, here are some suggestions for letting go of your maternal gatekeeping behavior:

  • Quit hogging the baby and children.
  • Don't expect your husband to do things exactly as you would do them.
  • Accept that there are more ways than your way to accomplish a task.
  • Lower your standards of housekeeping especially if they are unrealistic.
  • Don't criticize what your husband accomplished.
  • Never redo a task that your husband did.
  • Don't ask your husband for help. Ask him to take on his share of the responsibility for running your family's home.
  • Realize that you don't have to do all the organizing, delegating, planning, and scheduling in your home.
  • If you find yourself feeling threatened by your husband's efficiency or the way he cares for your kids, ask yourself why you are having this feeling.
  • If a baby or child is crying, don't immediately step in and take the child away from your husband.
  • Accept Gloria Steinem's statement, "we need to know not only what women can do what men can do but also that men can do what women can do."

Maternal Gatekeepers
Questions for Wives
Questions and Solutions for Husbands
Gatekeeping Study Press Release

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