Rebuilding trust in your marriage can be difficult when your spouse has done something to break that trust. Here are a few suggestions and help.
- Make a decision to love by trying to let go of the past. Stop obsessing about the situation which broke the trust between you and your spouse.
- Decide to forgive or to be forgiven.
- If you are the one in your marriage who lied, cheated, etc. show that the errant behavior is gone by changing your behaviors. That means no more secrets, lies, infidelity, etc.
- Together, set specific goals for getting your marriage back on track.
- To rebuild the trust in your marriage, both of you must renew your commitment to your marriage and one another.
- The wounded spouse must share the pain. The other spouse must acknowledge the hurt caused by the devastating experience of being lied to or cheated on.
- Listen completely to one another and with your heart, not just your head.
- Be honest.
- Avoid using words that can trigger conflict. Use non-blaming 'I' statements and don't say always, must, never, or should.
- Take responsibility for your own actions and decisions.
- Be open to seeking counseling to have a better understanding into what caused the trust to be broken.
- Remind one another that you each deserve open and honest answers to your questions about the affair or betrayal.
- Recognize that rebuilding trust takes time. It won't happen over night.
- It's okay to remember the incidents and the betrayal. You may not forget what happened, but the pain will eventually go away.
- Be aware of your feelings and share your feelings with one another.
What You Need
- Commitment to your marriage