Peanut Butter Concept
Dateline: 03/27/97Just like peanut butter holds two pieces of bread together, there are people, things, organizations, feelings, activities, etc., which can hold a marriage together.
When the sticky stuff is love, commitment, delight, joy, and devotion - all is ok. However, when the peanut butter is our kids, our involvement in church, our debts, etc., then all is not ok.
Our son Ken lives in an apartment over our store. He has a habit of parking his car in our front parking lot which is for customers, rather than driving it to the back lot, which is for our private vehicles. This agitates Bob. Being the peacemaker, I get in the way and try to nicely tell Ken to move the darn car. I am being peanut butter in the relationship Bob has with his son. After a few weeks of cars being in wrong spots, Bob finally confronts Ken. Ken's response? I was waiting for you - not Mom - to say something! Time for Mom to quit being peanut butter in that relationship.
We've worked with many couples who are super involved in church or in a group like Marriage Encounter. Then one day, after they back away from their participation in the group, their relationship seems to be in trouble. Why?
They were using the church or the group as peanut butter. As long as they had the meetings to attend, or were kept busy, or were able to share with one another at the group sessions, they had a false sense that all was ok in their relationship.
They weren't really talking or communicating with one another directly, but through their involvement with others. The group/church became peanut butter.
Any peanut butter in your relationship??
