Betrothal
Your Public Promise to Love One Another
When the two of us were engaged, our marriage preparation consisted of six meetings with our pastor, who set us in a little room with a record player and each week we would listen to a record by the Rev. Bishop Fulton Sheen. The records had nothing whatsoever to do with marriage. When the record was finished, Father would come in, and ask us if we had any questions.
We always said no. At the end of the six weeks, we set our wedding date, signed some forms, and that was it.
Today, we want more for couples and that is why we volunteer our time on Engaged Encounter Weekends. We believe it is important for couples to look beyond their engagement and wedding plans and to prepare for a lifetime together.
Along with that comes a willingness to proclaim to the whole world your love for one another and your lifelong commitment. That's the difference between an engagement and a betrothal.
An engagement is a public announcement that you intend to marry, and the focus is on your plans for your wedding day.
A betrothal is a public announcement that you are preparing to marry, and the focus is on each other, God, and your community. A written, published betrothal adds richness and deepens your commitment to one another. It is one of the first opportunities a couple has to change their focus from "me" and "you" to "we" and "us", and a common goal.
This past weekend, when we got caught by snow at Black Lake (near Olympia, WA), we wrote betrothal pledges once again to one another.
BOB: Dear Sheri, Here I am again standing before God and the church, pledging how I will work at being sacrament. This weekend I have had time to think about how I have been taking us for granted. So busy with our business and household repairs, that I put us on a back burner.
Please forgive me for that. I re-pledge my love for you, and with God's help, to honor you and to love you in the ways I know that make you important - love notes in surprising places, weeds in bud vases, time interacting with our kids, to say the words "I love you" more often, to take time each day to touch base with you and share what is going on in the depths of my being and to listen to you. When I remember Christmas morning this year, I am thankful for all the sacrifices we've made, for the changes we made to become the lovers we have become. I promises to work at continuing to work at being more of a friend, companion and lover in the days to come. Love always, your growly bear, tease and lover, Bob.
SHERI: Bob my dearest, As I reflect on this lovely, challenging, snowy morning about our marriage and relationship these past thirty-four years, I find myself having feelings of awe. We have experienced a lot, you and I, both good and bad, joyful and sad, fun and loads of work. I am most thankful for our ability to face a situation, deal with it, and then get on with our life together. I love you, Bob. I depend on your common senes, and knowledge and creativity to keep our house from falling apart. I value your sensitivity and wit and passion to keep our lives interesting, fresh and not boring. Because I love you, I plan to work on deepening our relationship by planning on more days just for us, to take better care of myself by drinking more water and getting more sleep, and to lovingly nag you into taking time to have some plain ole fun together. Although thirty-four years is a long time, it just doesn't seem that long to me. I really do look forward to our next thirty-four years together. Just think of the things we can do, the cages we can rattle, the lives we can touch, and the fun we can have. Always my love, Sheri
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How about writing a betrothal to one another this week?
How about making it public by sharing it with
us and we can post your betrothals on this site.
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