Would You Do It Again?
Get Married, that is....
With Valentine's Day just around the corner, and romance in the air, we pose a question to you this week.
If your spouse were to die, do you think you would ever marry again?
Some people believe that the willingness or unwillingness of a surviving spouse to remarry is a test of the couple's marital happiness.
About 25 years ago, Morton Hunt, in The World of the Formerly Married mentioned that marriage fills "need for emotional satisfaction, security, and individual happiness."
He also wrote, "Until society invents and perfects some new forms of grouping, some new kinds of attachment among people, we will need to have our marital partners be romantic as well as companionable, sexual as well as parental, exciting as well as domestic.
This being so, we are right to be idealistic about marriage and to hope for much from it. We naturally rejoice greatly when it yields most of what we want, and cast it aside grievingly when it fails us."
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If this is true, then it would seem only natural for folks to want to marry again. Yet in our conversations with formerly married people, both widowed and divorced, many say "no". They won't marry again.
Why?
Reasons given for this answer include:
financial considerations, saying they are better off single when it comes to money concerns,
a feeling that they had to sacifice too much of themselves in order to keep their marriage together, and they don't want to do that again,
concern over their children's response, both minor and adult children,
health problems, both their own health and that of a prospective spouse,
the belief that they did have a great marriage, and they don't see how they can ever be that fortunate again.
There is an old story about a famous politician, we'll call him Mr. Jones. He was at a dinner party with his wife, and the question was asked of the group, "If you died, but could come back as anyone you wanted, who would you want to be?" This gentleman allegedly said, "As Mrs. Jones' second husband." Neat answer!
What do you think about this topic? Please share your thoughts with us on the bulletin board.
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