Related Resources • Gifts

From Other Guides • Gifts & Presents

Elsewhere on the Web • Gifts to Show You Care

Have you ever been disappointed by a gift from your spouse? Have you felt unloved and unappreciated because your spouse forgot your anniversary or birthday? What gifts do you remember receiving? Usually, we remember the really great ones, and the really awful ones, or the ones that we didn't receive.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, gift giving is one of the five love languages. It is a universal sign of caring, love and respect for another person.

Gifts can tell us many things about the relationship, but can be misinterpreted, too. A practical gift may say that your value to your spouse is in what you accomplish. Or it could mean that although money is tight, you are still important. Or it may reflect that the giver doesn't like to buy impractical things. Forgetting an important gift giving occasion may send a message that you don't care or that your partner isn't important to you.

It is very important to communicate our thoughts about gift giving to those we love. Several years ago our daughter, Judy, wrote a humorous play, Haggis, about lack of communication in a 50-year marriage. There are probably a lot of Maggies and Georges in the world who fail to let one another know their likes and dislikes.

Some women love to receive flowers. I don't. I don't like watching them shrivel up and die. So Bob picks me weeds. It is a simple gesture letting me know that he's thinking about me. Bob is very difficult to buy for. He would prefer a bunch of coupons that say I owe him some back rubs.

The next time you are considering purchasing a gift for your mate, think twice about what message you want to send. Put some real thought into... because it is the thought that counts.