Hopefully those who watch will take some of the good advice offered by the show's marriage therapist.
The marriage therapist on the show, "Mister Marriage", Jamie Green, has been working with troubled marriages in England for sixteen years.
Dr. John Gottman of Seattle lists four behaviors that can kill a marriage. The marriage of Chris and Laura King on the "Marriage 911" television show was definitely a challenge because those four negative behaviors were a daily aspect of their nine year marriage.
Chris and Laura's Problems
The couple constantly argued in front of their five young children, three dogs, three cats, two rabbits, and a hamster. The resentment, nastiness, lack of respect, yelling, screaming, demeaning comments, criticism, contempt, negativity, put downs, rudeness, sarcasm, blaming, complaining, hurtful jokes, anger, and viciousness in their marriage surfaced in every argument as Laura and Chris battled with each other.One of their young daughters wrote on a noteboard for her parents to see, "Either break up or shut up!"
Jamie worked with Chris and Laura to experience role reversal, and to gain an understanding of what is missing in their lives, and why. Some problems that Jamie encouraged the couple to take ownership and responsibility for included:
Not being able to let go of the past
Trust and self-esteem issues
Poor listening skills
Rules to Live By
Jamie gave the couple some good rules to try and live by:We would add the importance of knowing how to fight fair.Respect Each Other
No Insults
No Put Downs
No Blaming
No Complaining
No Fighting in Front of the Children
Remember to Feel What Spouse and Children are Feeling
Let Go of the Past
Will the King Marriage Survive?
If Laura and Chris can continue to get beyond the past and follow the rules Jamie gave them, their marriage has a chance of making it long term. However, the only way that can happen is if they take the rules seriously so that they don't allow the past to drag them down once again into their toxic negative behaviors.
Will the "Marriage 911" Series Survive?
If they can get enough intriguing and different marital issues on the show, the series may survive. However, it would become more difficult to watch week after week if the same bickering shows up a great deal.One of the more enjoyable aspects of the show was watching the non-verbal reaction of Jamie Green to the poisonous behaviors of the couple.
It is important to realize that one week worth of therapy is not enough time for most couples to deal with their problems or to make the behavioral and psychological changes that may be needed to save their marriages.
