Published by Harper Perennial
A History of the Wife looks back in history to see what being a wife meant in ancient times through today. It is a study of the laws, religious practices, social customs, economic patterns, and political consciousness that have impacted wives through the ages.
Although the author has little mention of wives from Japan, China, Africa, India, Latin America, or Native American wives, we do recommend this readable, interesting account of the fascinating history of women through the status of being wives.
The book includes notes, credits, and an index.
Why Women Marry
"Once upon a time, women married for other reasons: for economic support, to cement family alliances, to have children, to counter loneliness, to be like all the other women ... Whether one was happily married or not, the wedding ring, in and of itself, was a measure of female worth." (page xii)
Although marriage is "no longer the sole gateway to sexual and domestic pleasures," Yalom maintains that being a wife is a good thing under certain conditions. Those conditions include:
- Relative equality between the spouses
- Mutual respect
- Affection
- Sufficient means
In 1960, a University of Michigan study entitled Husbands and Wives reported that women listed in order of importance the benefits of marriage as:
- 1. Companionship
- 2. The chance to have children
- 3. Understanding and emotional support
- 4. Love and affection
- 5. Financial benefit
(pages 366-367)
Chapters
Wives in the ancient World: Biblical, Greek, and Roman Models
Wives in Medieval Europe, 1100-1500
Protestant Wives in Germany, England, and America, 1500-1700
Republican Wives in America and France
Victorian Wives on Both Sides of the Atlantic
Victorian Wives on the American Frontier
The Woman Question and the New Woman
Sex, Contraception, and Abortion in the United States, 1840-1940
Wives, War, and Work, 1940-1950
Toward the New Wife, 1950-2000
Lifetime Relationships
She also states that "the old ideal of companionate marriage has been reformulated under such new labels as egalitarian marriage, equal partnership, and marital equality."
Marilyn Yalom Quotes
"In Italy, marriage was mandatory for almost everyone, male and female. Unmarried women were either nuns, sent into cloisters at an early age -- sometimes as early as seven, though they did not pronounce their vows until twelve or thirteen -- or servants trying to amass a sufficient sum for a dowry." (page 84)
"The women who met at Seneca Falls in 1848 were mostly married women, and their concerns to improve the condition of their sisters would gradually alter the picture of American wifehood. The group led by Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony saw the existing institution of marriage as a form of bondage for women similar to the institution of slavery ..." (page 194)
"When women marry, they do so on the average of five years later than the women of the fifties, at age twenty-five instead of twenty. Many marry men from different religions, races, regions, or ethnic backgrounds. Most continue to work after marriage and the birth of their children. North American mothers now bear roughly two children ... One out of two American wives will see her first marriage end in divorce ... These trends did not start yesterday, nor in the turbulent sixties or feminist seventies. They are rooted in historical changes that began more than a hundred years ago, most notably in the sexual attitudes and experiences of American couples, and in work opportunities for women outside the home."(pages 353-354)
