From Sheri & Bob Stritof,
Your Guide to Marriage.
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Sharing household chores together is only fair, but if you have a spouse who won't work with you on keeping the house and yard clean and maintained, perhaps you are making some mistakes. Here are some common mistakes you may make when trying to motivate your spouse to share in household chores.

Asking for Help

Don't ask your spouse to help you around the house. That gives your spouse the idea that the household chores are your responsibility and not his.
More on Dividing Household Chores

Not Knowing What You Want Done by Your Spouse

Do you know what you want your spouse to do or are you expecting your mate to notice what needs to be done and then do it?
More on Expectations in Marriage

Lack of Communication

It is important that you are specific in communicating your expectations about household maintenance and cleaning. Communication also involves listening to your spouse's household chore expectations.
More on Communication

Inflexibility

Is your way the only way to get a chore accomplished? Are you a gatekeeper?
More on Maternal Gatekeeping

Nagging

Nagging only makes your spouse more resentful and defensive.
More on Nagging

No Confidence in Spouse's Abilities

Do you double-check how your spouse cleaned the toilet or put away the laundry? Do you redo a task that your spouse just finished?
More on Negativity in Marriage

Lack of Affirmation

When was the last time you complimented your spouse on a job well done?
More on Compliments