Do any of the following phrases (both ones you like to hear and ones you don't like to hear) seem familiar to you and your spouse?
Negative Comments
-
What did you do all day around here?
What is your problem?
No.
I'm still thinking about it.
Give me a break.
You always...
What did you say?
Why didn't you... ?
It's all your fault!
I told you...
You're just like your mother/father.
Why is it always my fault?
You never...
You don't love me anymore.
Is dinner ready yet?
You don't listen.
My way is the only way.
And what have you been up to?
I'm tired.
Forget it.
I don't care.
Positive Comments
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I love you.
Thanks.
That's neat... great job!
Thanks for marrying me.
Let's eat out tonight.
You look super.
I'm so glad we're married.
I'll help.
Our kids couldn't ask for a better mom/dad.
Like a back rub?
Let's do something fun together... a movie or a walk?
I need your help.
Are you feeling alright?
Can we find a babysitter? I'd like to be alone with you.
Life with you is a joy.
Bottom Line
If you respond to one another without really thinking first about how it might sound to your partner, start thinking before allowing the negativity to take over.If you don't think you are using the positive comments enough, work at using them more in your daily talks with one another.
