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"I Don't Care" in Your Marriage

Apathy is a Big Red Flag


Photo: Digital Vision / Getty Images
Photo: Digital Vision / Getty Images
When your spouse asks your opinion about what to have for dinner, or where to go out to eat, or which movie to see, or where you would like to go on vacation, do you respond with "I don't care" and then mumble and grumble and make negative statements about the decision your spouse made?

Sign of Apathy, Disillusionment, Uncaring, Insensitivity and More

Whenever you or your spouse says "I don't care", it could be a sign of apathy or uncaring in your marriage. The phrase may also be a way of not facing into your own disillusionment in your marriage.

Saying "I don't care" shows a lack of concern and caring. The comment in itself comes across as thoughtless, insensitive, irresponsible, indifferent, unfeeling, and rude.

Saying "I don't care" is also a cop out. It's often used by people who don't want to take part in making a decision or who don't want to discuss a situation or topic. It's easier to say, "I don't care" and then blame your spouse if things don't work out well.

A Better Response

You probably really do care, but you just fall into the habit of saying "I don't care."

A better response than "I don't care" is to say something like, "I'm for anything but Italian for dinner" or "Any movie is okay with me as long as it isn't a tear jerker."

If your spouse keeps saying "I don't care", don't let him or her off the hook. Say, "Yes, you do care. Please give me your opinion."

Bottom Line

If either of you are uttering "I don't care" often in your conversations with each other, talk about how the phrase could be hurting your relationship.
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