If you and your spouse have fallen into a pattern of fighting over the same issues over and over again, you need to ask yourselves three questions:
- 1. Why do you fight?
- 2. Do you even know what you are fighting about?
- 3. Is this an issue we will never resolve?
What Married Couples Fight About
- Chores
- Money
- Kids
- Sex including pornography
- Infidelity
- Communication
- Time including time spent on the computer
- Jobs
- Recreation
- Neatness
- Annoying habits
- Jealousy
- Past history
- Substance abuse
- Pointless or silly issues
- Inlaws
Why Married Couples Fight
- To win
- To vent
- For control
- To release stress
- To get closer to spouse
- To clear the air
- To resolve issues
Negative Behaviors Resulting From Unfair Fights in a Marriage
- Withdrawal
- Silent treatment
- Avoidance
- Distance
- Meanness
- Demanding
- Pouting
- Breaking promises
Negative Feelings Resulting From Fights in a Marriage
- Ignored
- Unloved
- Hurt
- Anger
- Hopeless
- Insulted
- Worried
- Abused
- Useless
- Unwanted
- Unimportant
- Put down
What You Can Do
- Take responsibility for what you do or don't do.
- Fight fair.
- Listen to one another.
- Don't try to be a mind reader.
- Clarify what you think your spouse is saying.
- If you need to cool down, take a time out.
- Be open to compromise.
- Know when to agree to disagree.
- Don't fight to win. Fight for your marriage.
- Forgive one another.
