Once you realize that you have habits that are legitmately annoying and irritating your spouse and hurting your marriage, the obligation to change is in your court.
Tips for Changing Your Own Bad Habits
- Don't believe the old saying, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." You can break a bad habit if you really want to.
- Be honest with yourself. Do you have some annoying, nasty habits that are hurting your marriage?
- Share your feelings about the annoying behaviors with your spouse. Stick to "I feel..." statements.
- Include your spouse as you brainstorm solutions to your bad habits.
- Many people find that replacing a bad habit with a positive behavior is easier than just stopping the bad habit.
- Don't try to change more than one irritating habit at a time.
- Share your personal goals and expectations with your mate.
- Share with your mate that you need support and affirmation, not criticism or nagging.
- Don't be too hard on yourself if you slip up now and then. But don't give up either or coninually make excuses for not achieving your goal.
- Talk with your spouse about how to reward yourself for quitting a nasty habit. Keep the reward reasonable and achievable both from a monetary and a time perspective.