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Staying Together for the Sake of the Kids


Parents Spending Time with their Young Daughter
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If you are concerned about which is better for your kids -- staying together for the sake of the kids or having a good divorce that sets positive role models for your kids, read this article which gives information on current research into the issue.

The issue is whether or not divorced couples can raise children who fare better in life as adults than unhappy couples who stay together for the sake of the kids.

It is generally accepted that children learn both good and dysfunctional patterns and behavior from their parents. The question is what do kids learn from divorced parents and what do they learn from parents who sacrifice their own happiness for their children?

Latest Developments

With the publication of several books on the good divorce issue, the studies behind the books are being looked at more closely.

Professor Constance Ahrons did a 20-year longitudinal study. She interviewed the parents in person three times over five years and then she interviewed the adult children 20 years later. Her study showed that 80% of the children "come through divorce as emotionally healthy adults. And most all of the other research indicates that."
Source: Anderson Cooper 360 Interview

Elizabeth Marquardt's study involved a nationally representative telephone survey of 1,500 young adults. Half were from divorced families and half were from intact families. Her study has not been published in any scientific journal. Marquardt did not talk to the parents.
Source: Anderson Cooper 360 Interview

Joseph Nowinski wrote in 2011 about additional research on the issue: "... it is possible for children not only to survive this crisis, but to emerge from it stronger and happier in the long run."


You may find yourselves confused about how much trauma your children will suffer from your possible divorce.

Face it. Depending on how you and your spouse handle your divorce and parenting responsibilities, it is safe to say that the future emotional health of your children is at stake whether you divorce or stay together.

Pros and Cons of Staying Together for the Kids

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