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"Should We Stay Together?"

About.com Rating 5 Star Rating


by Jeffry H. Larson, Ph.D.

John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

The Bottom Line

We hope every couple considering marriage will take the time to read this book and complete the exercises together before they walk down the aisle.
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  • Includes questionnaire.
  • Excellent section on other resources for marriage preparation.
  • Great chapter on dealing with family-of-origin issues.


  • Some couples may find it too surfacy/


  • Includes extensive premarital questionnaire (RELATE) and numerous other exercises.
  • Sample question: Who should you avoid as a future spouse?
  • Sampe question: How do you know when you are not ready to marry?
  • Helps couples decide if they should pursue marriage, break-up or just keep dating?
  • The author also has a chapter debunking the myths about preparing for marriage.
  • Types to avoid are controllers, anger addicts, abusers, and possessors.
  • His list of red light indicators is very useful.
  • "If you keep thinking, “Maybe things will get better after we’re married.” They usually don’t!"
  • "If you’re desperately lonely. Get a dog or cat instead."
  • "Improve yourself before marriage. Marry when you’re whole."

Guide Review - "Should We Stay Together?"

According to the Beatles song, “All you need is love.” However, statistics are showing that nearly half of all marriages today will end in divorce. So, obviously, more than love is needed to keep a marriage in tact.

Although primarily aimed at couples who are thinking about getting married, "Should We Stay Together?" can help couples who have already made that commitment to one another. Based on a ten year research project, it was written by Dr. Jeffry Larson, professor and director of the marriage and family therapy programs at Brigham Young University.

"Should We Stay Together?" allows couples to together, or on their own, privately take inventory of the assets and liabilities of their present relationship in order to predict, and address what may lead to future problems.

If you believe that “living together will prepare you for marriage and improve your chances of being happily married”, then you need to read this book.

If you believe that “preparing for marriage just comes naturally,” read this book. If you believe that “being in love with someone is sufficient reason to marry that person”, please read this book.

If your partner was previously married previously, wait for at least one year since the divorce so that the emotional healing process is largely complete.

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