There are things you can both do and believe that will end up being direct paths to disappointment and unhappiness in your marriage. These include having false expectations, believing in the myths about marriage, thinking that someone else can make you happy, trying to read one another's mind, wanting to do everything together, and wanting to have a perfect marriage.
Identify Your ExpectationsIt is very important to be able to identify and actually talk about expectations with one another. Together you can fine tune your expectations so that neither of you are trying to live up to something that is impossible.
Achievable Expectations Are OkayIt's okay to have expectations. Everyone does. However, the expectations need to be achievable or the sense of disappointment, disillusionment and despair from failed expectations will bring spouses to the point of wanting to call it quits.
Positive ExpectationsHopefully, your expectations will include being able to lovingly resolve conflicts, to appreciate your differences as individuals, to respect and cherish one another, and to be able to discuss values and priorities.