If one of your main concerns after being diagnosed with breast cancer is how the illness will impact your marriage, you are not alone. Many women have this same fear.
It is believed by health experts that good communication between husbands and wives is a significant factor in a woman's recovery.
To fight the battle against cancer together, and to strengthen your marriage, consider the following options.
Together
- Educate yourselves about breast cancer. One of the main ways to fight breast cancer is to educate yourselves about breast cancer, including IBC (inflammatory breast cancer).
- Keep the lines of communication open between the two of you as you both share your feelings about the illness.
- Don't try to read one another's minds.
- Talk with your doctor about concerns you have about sexual intimacy.
- Accept that you may each find a new meaning in life as you deal with the disease, and that this new awareness may change your values and choices in life.
Wives
- Give your husband permission to fight the battle with you.
- Let him know how important it is to you to have him involved in all aspects of your treatment.
- Let your husband know if you want him at your medical appointments, etc.
- Don't keep information and news about your illness from your husband. He deserves to know what is happening.
- Listen to his concerns and feelings.
- Be affirming when he is supportive, helpful, and caring.
- Accept that your husband may have some personal issues to work through, too.
Husbands
- Be open and honest with your wife about any personal issues you may have concerning being with her during medical treatments.
- Having a feeling of helplessness is normal. Breast cancer is something you as husband and protector can't fix. You can't solve the problem or make the cancer go away, but you can be there for your wife, hold her, talk to her, listen to her, and let her know she is loved.
- Share your feelings and concerns with her.
- Attend doctor appointments with your wife. However, if she decides that she wants to talk with her physican alone, don't be hurt by that decision. She may need this time to ask questions that she fears will upset you, or the time to assimilate what she has been told by her physican.
- Be considerate, supportive, and show you care.
- Understand that you are being affected by your wife's breast cancer.
- Help her with communicating with her parents, friends, and your children about the disease.
- Realize that you aren't in charge of your wife's care. She is.
Special Note About IBC (Inflammatory Breast Cancer)
There is not just one type of breast cancer. Not all breast cancer involves the discovery of a lump in a breast. Inflammatory breast cancer is a silent killer that many women know nothing about.Educate yourselves and know the signs and symptoms of IBC. Don't accept that redness, soreness, and other symptoms may be caused by a bug bite. Since IBC is usually not easily detected by a mammogram or an ultrasound, ask for further testing.
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