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Hurting Holidays

Coping Tips for Your First Holiday Alone

By Sheri & Bob Stritof, About.com

After the loss of a spouse, whether it be through death, divorce or separation, the milestone dates that were part of your life together such as anniversaries, birthdays, and holidays, can be very painful.

It is during these times that your feelings of loss and aloneness may be heightened.

Coping Ideas to Help You Through the Holidays

  • Take each day as it comes. Don't anticipate feeling horrid through the holidays.
  • Share your thoughts and feelings about the holidays with someone you trust.
  • Be realistic about what you can do during the holidays, both time wise and financially.
  • Accept invitations to spend time with friends and family members.
  • If your loved one has died, it can be healing to do something symbolic in remembrance. Plant a tree at a public park or a rose bush at your church, etc.
  • Begin a new tradition.
  • Buy a new ornament for the tree that symbolizes your new beginning.
  • Help others - do some volunteering at a shelter, food bank, thrift store, animal shelter, etc.
  • Stop by a local Angel Tree and buy something for someone less fortunate.
  • Accept your feelings of loss and sadness, but remember to make a decision to get on with your life.

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