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Your Holiday Season Together

The Beginning of Your Traditions

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Because the day you married one another you became a family, you and your spouse need to begin talking about your holiday traditions before the holiday seasons begin.

POLL:

Are traditions important to you and your spouse?
1) Yes
2) No
3) I don't have any traditions

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The Importance of Traditions in a Marriage

Traditions help keep you focused on your values. They keep you connected to your past.

Ritual traditions provide a sense of belonging and are comforting, too. Besides being fun, traditions can create positive memories for your children as well.

Memories

Holidays seem to bring memories closer to your minds and hearts. You remember the funny times, the sad moments, the warm experiences, and the frustrating occasions.

Special memories should be cherished. Make time to get out the photo albums and boxes and look through them to share your feelings and thoughts with each other.

Developing Your Traditions

Your first holiday season together is a time to start thinking about what traditions the two of you want to start developing in your family. Most couples find themselves using some of his traditions and some of her traditions, and also starting some new ones.

Some traditions can outgrow their usefulness. Don't be afraid to discard rituals or traditions that simply don't work for you.

However, it is important to be sensitive to not alienate family members. Traditions are supposed to create good feelings, not arguments.

Suggestions for Developing Traditions in Your Marriage

  • Start a guest book NOW. Each time they visit, ask your friends and family members to sign your guest book. In years to come, you will enjoy recalling these happy times.

  • Find time during the holidays for the two of you to sit down together and toast one another. Talk about one or two of the best things that happened to you over the past year.

  • Hang lots of greenery around your home. This tradition comes from the Norsemen who pinned the boughs over their doorways to ward off evil. A practical reason was that the greens also freshened stale air and people's spirits during long cold winters.

  • Together, write a handwritten note to someone who has touched your lives this year or who created a happy memory for you both.

  • When holiday cards start arriving, pick one each evening to read together. Share with one another how the family who sent it impacted your lives.

Making Time to Celebrate Your Marriage

Remember that many traditions and rituals can occur at times other than the big holidays. Small rituals can be very significant.

It really doesn't matter what traditions or rituals you use. What is important is that you are making and taking time to be together and to celebrate being a family.

The key to creating satisfying traditions is to remain open to new ideas and to be flexible.

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