Potential Challenges of an Interracial Marriage

Unfortunately, racism still exists in American society on a deep level—and therein lie the disadvantages of an interracial marriage and the cause of many interracial marriage problems. Partners in an interracial marriage must take on these issues together while maintaining empathy and respect for each other's experiences. Interracial couples also face conflicts when their values surrounding racial or cultural identity differ. These strategies can help you handle interracial marriage problems. 

Types of Interracial Marriage Problems

As an interracial couple, you might face extra challenges in your marriage from people outside it. This can make you feel hurt, sad, and helpless. Talk about your feelings openly with one another to prevent them from building up and hurting your marriage. Your partner is probably the best person to offer you solace from these external stressors. Come together to face these troubling issues and lean on each other for support. 

Challenges can overlap, stem from, and magnify one another.

Know and Discuss Your Differences 

Racial and cultural differences won't threaten your relationship so much as an inability to resolve conflict and a failure to talk about the stresses you each feel. Sharing and exposing your vulnerabilities is key in any successful romantic, truly intimate relationship, but especially for interracial couples. You and your partner might have had different experiences that shape your views now.

For example, a person of color who is with a partner who is White might discuss negative stereotypes, discrimination, and racism. Their experiences (and perhaps their beliefs) are very likely different in these regards; still, they can be open, listen attentively, and develop their mutual empathy.

Discuss cultural differences on such issues as religion, diet, birth control, parenting preferences, grief, finances, sex, extended family relationships, gender roles, communication styles, and traditions openly—and with open minds.

A licensed couples counselor can help you navigate these problems. In fact, some therapists specialize in helping interracial couples. 

Children in Interracial Marriages

You and your spouse should discuss how you will raise your children and help them understand and appreciate their mixed identity. Tell positive stories from your family histories.

As your children grow up, listen to them as they share their concerns. Incidents are likely to occur in their lives due to societal stereotyping, prejudice, and discrimination.

Develop an open line of communication so that your kids know they can come to you for support without pressure or intimidation. Answer their questions directly, and validate their feelings whenever you can.

Holidays as an Interracial Couple

Most couples face stress during holidays, but it might be more acute for you as an interracial couple. Talk about your cultural differences and childhood holiday celebrations. Use the holidays as a chance to discuss how your family will handle differences and similarities in your backgrounds.

Be proud of your cultural traditions and work together to create ways to celebrate them that will be meaningful to you both. You might even create your own holidays and traditions.

Know Yourselves 

A strong interracial marriage rests on strong beliefs in your identities. If you're unsure about your own life or self, try seeking help with your own issues before trying to merge your life with someone else's. This is generally good advice for anyone entering any type of new relationship or endeavor.