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Love is a Decision

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One of the more controversial statements made on Marriage Encounter Weekends, and on Engaged Encounter Weekends, is "Love is a Decision." It is a statement that reminds couples to love the person, not the behavior.

Many people do not see why a person would have to make the decision to love since they made that decision many years ago when they said yes to one another on their wedding day.

It is normal in married life to have periods of romance and disillusionment. This cycle is often repeated – sometimes over days, weeks, even months.

Breaking out of Disillusionment by Making the Decision to Love

One way to break out of disillusionment is by deciding to love. Feelings change and aren't not easily controlled. Love is not only a feeling, it is more than a feeling. Love is a decision.

Love is a decision to be open and to share when you don’t feel like it. Love is a decision when you don't think your spouse deserves your love.

Love is a decision means that you are open to honest communication with your spouse. That's not only talking, but also listening. It is also a decision to be loved.

Making the decision to love includes the everyday, little things that you often do for one another, especially when you’re not feeling loving. From the action of deciding to love, often the feeling of love will follow.

What Love is a Decision Means in an Abusive Situation

Making the decision to love doesn't mean you love and accept negative or abusive behavior.

If your spouse is abusing you, either emotionally or physically, making the decision to love is getting out of the abusive situation. Often times, making the decision to love is getting help for both you and your spouse.

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