Best known for giving out loads of advice on sex problems and issues, in this book, "Conquering the Rapids of Life", Dr. Ruth Westheimer addresses the pitfalls and issues that married couples most often face in their midlife relationships.
Quote from Rabbi Yehuda ben Tema
At forty, one reaches the age of understanding; at fifty, the age of offering counsel; sixty is the beginning of older age; at seventy, one earns respect for having the bearing of wisdom; at eighty, one is recognized for having strength and determination. (Ethics of the Fathers, Chapter 5, Mishnah 23).Chapters
- The Whitewater Years Defined
- Monopause
- Other Female Health Problems
- When Man's Best Friend Lets Him Down
- Other Male Health Problems
- Empty-Nest Syndrome
- Psychological Boulders
- Rekindling Your Romance
- When the Relationship Turns Sour
- Other Pitfalls
- Better Health
- Grandparents 'R Us
Some of Westheimer's Recommendations
Differences and Similarities: Written from both the men's and women's viewpoints, Westheimer points out the differences and similarities that couples experience when facing midlife issues. Negativity: She encourages couples to work at getting beyond any negative self-judgments and negative thinking that can hinder the two of you having a positive future together. She emphasizes the importance of positive thinking when it comes to growing older together.Adapting: As people age, changes occur in relationships, physical health, sexual performance, identity, moods, and personal independence. People must be able to adapt and cope with these changes.
Education: Staying educated and well informed, along with planning ahead is criticial to having a successful midlife experience.
Pros and Cons
The book has a great chapter on grandparenting, and a well organized and extensive index. Westheimer puts a lot of emphasis on the sexual relationships of older couples as being the source for a lot of midlife marital conflicts. She also appears to place the major responsibility for working on a marriage relationship on the wife's shoulders.
