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"Happily Married with Kids"

It's NOT just a fairy tale

About.com Rating 4.5 Star Rating


Happily Married with Kids

by Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D.

Berkley Books
"Happily Married with Kids" shows how to overcome the stress of having a new baby in your lives, how to have fun with your spouse in spite of not having a babysitter, and how to preserve your marital intimacy and still be great parents.

Scary Research

The author quotes research that found that after having a baby, sixty-seven percent of new parents are having:
  • less sex
  • less fun
  • more arguments

  • Unrealistic Expectations

    Having unrealistic expectations is the primary reason couples experience less happiness and intimacy in their marriages after having a baby.

    In discussing expectations versus realities, Lindquist helps new parents understand the importance of facing these issues head on and to not try and sweep them under the rug.

    There's no doubt about it. A newborn in your lives will put a strain on your marriage as you try to adjust to subsequent changes in your priorities and lifestyle. But the good news is that children don't kill marriages. Lack of communication is the true culprit.

    How tos

  • Avoid the real parent trap of exhaustion and disruption
  • Manage conflicts and improve communication
  • Stay best friends with your spouse
  • Balance work and home
  • Enjoy your kids - and each other - at every age
  • Revive your sex life
  • Find humor in everyday difficulties
  • Make time for both yourselves individually and your marriage
  • Potential Areas of Conflict

  • Money
  • Housework
  • Childcare
  • Employment Issues
  • In-laws
  • Sex
  • Time for self and together
  • Recreation
  • Lack of sleep
  • Holidays
  • Roles
  • Routines
  • Goals

    Realistically, these areas are what cause the most conflict in any marriage - whether there are children or not. Having a new baby in the house can bring any unresolved issues in these areas to the surface.

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