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Successful Marriage or Happy Kids

You Don't Have to Choose


Photo: B2M Productions / Getty Images
Photo: B2M Productions / Getty Images
Nora Ephron once wrote, "When you have a baby, you set off an explosion in your marriage, and when the dust settles, your marriage is different from what it was."

It's no surprise that when you have a baby or two or three, your lives change. In the midst of that change and the tiredness that you feel, you need to keep your marriage on solid ground, too. Is this an impossible balancing act?

No, it doesn't have to be an impossible balancing act. Teri Cettina, in her article "How to Save Your Marriage From Your Kids" wrote "... you don't have to choose between a happy marriage and happy, secure kids. By having the first, you'll likely get the second as well."

Here is our interpretation of Cettina's suggestions that could strengthen your marriage in the midst of your tiredness:

  • Welcome one another warmly when you reconnect each day. Show affection for each other.
  • Find some household chores you can do together.
  • Don't be a gatekeeper.
  • Put a high priority on setting early bedtimes for your kids.
  • Don't be afraid to schedule sex to keep the intimacy in your marriage.
  • Remember the importance of date nights. The time together doesn't have to be an elaborate evening out.
  • Couples will go through several stages of marriage throughout their lives together. Having kids is generally called the reality stage.
Carol Ummel Lindquist, Ph.D., "The irony is that a strong relationship with your partner is one of the best things you can do for your kids. You and your husband are modeling a good relationship, which sets your children up for better marriages themselves when they grow up."
Source: Teri Cettina. "How To Save Your Marriage From Your Kids. Cnn.com. 7/29/2009.

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