Answer
There is a tendency to believe that because a woman or man is "home all day" taking care of children, they have plenty of time to do chores around the house. The two of us believe that is a myth. A HUGH myth!Your question makes the assumption that she is lounging at home while you are "away working". Trust us. Your wife is not on a vacation just because she is a SAHM.
Bottom line though, what is a fair division of chores really depends on each couple and how they negotiate this aspect of their lives. If the two of you have been having some difficult times, and are disagreeing over the state of the house, it is necessary that you both decide what is important to both of you and what isn't.
For instance, it is important to me (Sheri) to have an uncluttered living room. It isn't important to Bob. So, if the clutter becomes too much for me, I tell him, and he knows that he has a couple days to pick up his stuff. If he doesn't, then I do it, and if I put something of his where he doesn't want it. That's his problem. We've discussed this scenario and we don't fight about it. He accepts the consequences of his decision to not pick up his stuff.
It is important too, that you not consider any chores that you do around the house as "helping" your wife. You are not helping her with "her" chores. You are accepting your responsibility in creating a home that your family enjoys.
We hope the two of you can work through this issue. It may become even more of a problem if she starts working outside your home.
Proceed to the next question.
