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Lack of Sex

Lack of Sex

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L. is contemplating a separation because her husband has no interest in sex.

Question

I have read your articles relating to sexless marriages, and am having a difficult time trying to resolve the issues in my marriage. I have been married to my husband 8 years, and he is everything that I desire in a spouse except that he is not interested in sex ... at all.

It has become gradually worse and I am to the point where I feel that after all of the rejection and the lack of loving that I feel no desire for him anymore! I feel that I have tried everything to make things better. He knows that it is a problem and we have talked and I have cried about it for years.

We have slept in separate bedrooms for about a year. I am 30 years old and feel like I am missing out an important part of my life. I don't want a roommate / best friend, I want a lover who actually desires me.

He has some sexual abuse issues in the past, his sisters were molested by their father and his older sister forced him to perform some sort of sexual activity with the younger sister. Could he be acting out some sort of anger by not being interested in me?

I am seriously considering asking him to leave until we can sort things out (for better or worse). I believe that if faced with that sort of ultimatum that he will seek help / make an effort.

I am truly at the point where I can not go on like this anymore. I realize that the problem is his but the effect that it has on me makes it my problem too.

Thanks for your time in reading this. I hope that you can offer some advice.

Read Sheri and Bob's answer

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