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Trust Issue

Trust Issue

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S. has a fiancée with serious trust issues and insecurities.

Question

I am currently going through a break-up with my fiancée. We have been engaged for 1 year and were supposed to get married this coming May.

However, we have been dealing with a recurring problem for 2 years that has caused all kinds of problems. This is obviously a trust issue.

It all began when I had the habit of staring (to women), and I did not realize I was doing it until she came down on me for doing so. I immediately agreed to it, but she started to feel insecure about herself and blamed me for it.

Then, I switched jobs to where a friend of my older sister worked. I knew her from a long time and had a cordial relationship (work relationship).

My fiancée started to accuse me of having a crush on her because supposedly, I spoke about her a lot. Anyway, I got really annoyed at the situation and I started trying to protect her from her insecurities.

The worst thing I could have ever done was when we all had a work trip to the UK, in which this girl had to go as well, and I decided to tell my fiancée that she was not going so I did not have to make her upset.

Well, the trip got cancelled and I accidentally told her that we we're not going and since then, she thinks that I was planning on doing something to her with this other girl. What can I do?

I tried to make things easier and somehow it came out worse. There are other similar cases but she cannot get over these insecurities. The fact is that I am so in-love with my fiancee and have been trying to make her happy and spend all of the time with her.

She recently told me that she wanted time because she feels bad about herself, not pretty enough, and thinks that I am not into her when the reality is the COMPLETE opposite. It has been over 2 weeks and I tried talking to her but it gets worse. What can I do?

I love this woman with everything I've got and don't want to have to end this when we are 2 people that love each other so much. I did speak with her mother and she suggested that I stay away as I was being to available to her?!?!

What can I do? I love her to death and I am feeling like somebody cut my heart out.

Please excuse the length of this e-mail. Any suggestions as what I can do will be greatly appreciated.

Read Sheri and Bob's answer

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