Nena and George O'Neill Marriage Profile

In the books they co-authored about marriage relationships, George and Nena O'Neill encouraged honest and open communication in marriage, taking responsibility for yourself, and giving your spouse the freedom to change.

George and Nena were married for about 35 years and were parents to two sons.

Here's more information about the O'Neills and their philosophy of marriage.

Nena O'Neill: November 29, 1923 in St. Lawrence, Pennsylvania.
Birth Name: Elizabeth Dross.

George O'Neill: Abt. 1921.

Nena: March 9, 2006 in Manhattan, New York, at the age of 82. Nena died from respiratory failure.

George: October 1980 at the age of 59 in New York, New York after he had abdominal surgery.

George and Nena were married in 1945.

"George was in the service and we were married over a weekend in a small church in a strange city ... very much in love -- everthing intensified by the immediacy of war."
Source: Georgia Dullea, "Sexual fidelity part of open marriage", The Yuma Daily Sun, October 6, 1977.

Nena and George had two sons and four grandchildren.

• Michael O'Neill: Professional photographer.

• Brian O'Neill: Anthropologist.

Brian: "They [O'Neills] asserted that the strength of their marriage illustrated the principles of the book. They cultivated separate hobbies (art films and opera for Nena; model airplanes and scuba diving for George), and once had house rules not to speak to each other two hours a day, even if they were working at home, and to take separate vacations once a year."
Source: Melanie Thernstrom, "Rethinking Matrimony", The New York Times Sunday Magazine, December 31, 2006, page 38.

George: Author, professor of anthropology, architectural engineer, and sales executive. George also served in the U.S. Army.

Nena: Author, anthropologist, consultant, and secretary.

Although George and Nena O'Neill intended in 1972 "to strip marriage of its antiquated ideals and romantic tinsel and find ways to make it truly contemporary", their classic book, Open Marriage, has been viewed more as a guidebook for swingers and as a license to cheat.
Source: NYTimes.com

Nena had one previous brief marriage to a pilot. He died in World War II.

George: "We're lucky. We've been doing all the things that are exciting to us -- with the kids. We lived under canvas in South Dakota and had the kids with us there ... The only piece of property that we had that was stationary was a small summer house. We would rather do than have."
Source: Patricia de Luna, "How to stop the world from spinning and still stay on", Long Beach Independent, May 1, 1974.

George about whether he and Nena were faithful to one another: "Even if we weren't at one moment or another, it's irrelevant. We've been married for X years and we're still married."
Source: Melanie Thernstrom, "Rethinking Matrimony", The New York Times Sunday Magazine, December 31, 2006, page 38.

The O'Neills about being unfaithful: "We are not recommending outside sex, but we are not saying that it should be avoided, either. The choice is entirely up to you."
Source: Open Marriage.

Nena: "The new function of marriage is to develop individual growth for both partners. Some say that a person must be childless and have money to make an open marriage work, but that's not true. You can find development without money ... We didn't have much money when our children were young and growing up. But we didn't have property either. We spent what money we had on keeping our children with us on our trips, sometimes three and four months at a time."
Source: Patricia Quinn, "Sharing, caring, trust", Long Beach Independent, February 6, 1973.

Nena: "Change doesn't have to come in a day. If you want to change your marriage, you can begin by setting some boundaries for yourself. You can start on small things and proceed from there. It's like the Chinese philosophy of Ying and Yang. There isn't a single change that doesn't bring another change along with it."
Source: Patricia Quinn, "Sharing, caring, trust", Long Beach Independent, February 6, 1973.

George: "You have to have real feeling and real love to increase the dynamics. An open marriage is synergetic, meaning that the traditional one plus one equals one couple instead becomes one plus one equals two and more. In an open marriage, both partners inculcate people beyond themselves."
Source: Patricia Quinn, "Sharing, caring, trust", Long Beach Independent, February 6, 1973.

Nena: "Sexual fidelity is not just a vow in a marriage, or a moral or religious belief, but a need associated with our deepest emotions and our question for emotional security. Infidelity is an extremely threatening situation. Source: William Raspberry, "Marriage thoughts", The Capital, October 4, 1978.

Nena: "First of all, the whole area of extramarital sex is touchy. People cannot be honest and open with each other about simple things ... total honesty is not always the best policy and the assurance of sexual fidelity is still an important and necessary attribute of most marriages."
Source: Georgia Dullea, "Sexual fidelity part of open marriage", The Yuma Daily Sun, October 6, 1977.

Nena: "Couples should cohabit for two years before marrying because that's where the proof of the pudding is."
Source: Georgia Dullea, "Sexual fidelity part of open marriage", The Yuma Daily Sun, October 6, 1977.