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Keys to Living With Your Adult Children

How to Have a Successful Intergenerational Household


Photo: Catherine Yeulet / iStockphoto
Photo: Catherine Yeulet / iStockphoto
According to numbers released by the U.S. Census Bureau in September 2008, "3.6 million American families [are] making room for older parents ... the census finds a 75 percent increase in parents under the age of 65 who are now living with their adult children, as well as a 24 percent increase in live-in brothers and sisters."
Source: Barbara Pinto. "As Families Weather Tough Times, Trend of Multi-Generational Homes Grows". ABCNews.go.com, 9/23/08.

Making the decision to give up your own home and move in with your adult kids is a decision that will not only impact your lives, but it will impact the lives of your children and grandchildren. An intergenerational family brings both benefits and challenges.

Reasons Married Couples Decide to Live With Their Adult Kids

  • Desire to be near kids and grandchildren.
  • Willingness to help with child-care.
  • Declining health.
  • Need for special help or care-giving.
  • Financial difficulties.
  • Higher housing and living costs.
  • Difficulty in maintaining own home.
  • Disaster or crisis situation.

How to Create a Successful Intergenerational Household

  • Determine who is in charge.
  • Discuss financial arrangements.
  • Talk about your expectations and concerns. Be honest.
  • Recognize when enough is enough and you need to talk through a problem.
  • Don't let resentment grow. Be open with your kids and with your spouse.

  • Remember to keep your marriage relationship a high priority in your lives by making sure you have alone time and remind your kids that they need to do the same in their own marriage.
  • Make sure everyone in the household understands their roles and responsibilities in household chores and maintenance.

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