How Long Have You Been Married?
About 1 year 9 months as of 3/2010.
Are You Happily Married?
Yes :)
What Made You Decide to Get Married?
We had already established a life-long commitment to each other that was based on love, respect, common life goals, and friendship. We decided to get married for the benefits of marriage such as legal and social recognition. We also didn't wait until after I graduated college because marriage was not going to change the way we lived our lives, so we might as well benefit from the increased financial aid. Basically there was no reason to wait and there was an incentive to not wait.
What Were You Not Prepared For in Marriage?
Nothing, really. Marriage doesn't change anything except legal and social recognition of what already existed. I suppose, however, I wasn't prepared for the response I got when I informed my family of when I was getting married. The wedding and the marriage were not a big deal to me or my husband, so I ended up offending people. I sent an email to my family and my grandmother and my uncle made a big deal about it. They didn't like that it was an email that informed them and my uncle didn't like that the email was addressed to multiple people. He was also offended that the wedding was only going to include my parents, my husband's parents and the pastor, even though an inclusive celebration was planned for afterward. My grandmother was also upset that she didn't even know I was engaged. I figured that my announcement of our wedding served the purpose of telling her I was engaged. I made up with my grandmother, but things are still awkward between my uncle and me.
Advice
- Marriage shouldn't change anything. People run into trouble when they expect marriage to make a difference. Don't let marriage be something to increase your commitment; if you're not already committed, don't get married. Also, don't hype up the wedding day. Some people seem to live for the wedding day and when it's over, they're just disappointed.
